College event asks big questions, offers real-time next steps

“What does it mean to be educated?” posed Friends Academy Director of College Counseling Edward Dugger as an overarching essential question to families at the all-school college event, “Pathways to Purpose” on Thursday, Feb. 27.

Striding across the stage in the Helen A. Dolan Center Theater, Mr. Dugger described the bold shifts that the educational model most parents in the audience remember, have taken. “When I was growing up, it was about having a very good library with books and I needed to have had a certain amount of knowledge of music, art, architecture, and the classics; fluency in a European language; and the experience of world travel,” he shared. “Today, with the internet, education has been democratized and is very different from what I (and you) had growing up,” he added.

The evening’s program, designed for parents/caregivers of students in Grades 5-12, and open to all Friends Academy families, offered strategies and insights across industries from college admissions, FA alumni, and former FA parents in a new and different program. “Our aim is to provide you with knowledge, which will hopefully ease your anxiety, but most importantly commit you to action,” outlined Mr. Dugger. “Think of education as something that can empower the individual and transform the world.”

In her interview with Middlebury College Dean of Admissions, FA 9th and 10th Grade Academic Advisor Amy Morgan quoted an eye-opening statistic – 60% of the jobs that exist today, did not exist after WWII – to set the stage for a discussion about the importance of transferable skills, especially in a liberal arts college environment.

“What colleges can do is to help students discover their purpose through education,” said Ms. Curvin. “A liberal arts education puts the onus on the student to think about how they can engage. Unlike engineering or a business degree, a liberal arts college is designed to provide maximum flexibility,” she explained. In a market that is rapidly evolving, Ms. Curvin emphasized the skills that graduates from schools like hers possess because they represent jobs that are not narrowly defined – working well with teams and supervisors, building relationships with mentors, mediating conflict, and thinking critically.

As important as outcomes are when determining a college, Ms. Curvin also emphasized the need to understand “fit” – a buzzword in the college world. “There are a few ways to find out if you are a good fit for a college or university and vice versa,” she said. “Can you hold onto your original ideals? Is this institution going to challenge me and broaden what I already know? What does the college have in terms of support and what are the outcomes – internships, graduate school?” 

Though several years out from the formal college process in Middle School, Mr. Dugger shared that it was never too early to begin forming a foundation of intellectual excellence, moral leadership, and service to the community… along with effective study habits. “Are your children participating in activities that expand their capacity?” he asked of Middle School parents. “How are you going to show moral leadership? Are you inclusive and do you collaborate?” he said. “How you show up in this community is going to be articulated in a letter of recommendation that you will need later,” he stressed. “It’s not just about what you do in the classroom, but also in the community.”

Today, the Common App is accepted by a thousand schools nationwide, and during the Middle School years, the FA College Office shared, it is the perfect time to register for a parent (practice) account. “Why should you do this if you have a Middle School student?” pondered Mr. Dugger. “It’s because you want to know if the application is changing; if any information they are asking is going to be different by the time your daughter or son applies to college,” he answered.

If the Middle School years are about setting in place a foundation of connection to community, a student’s Upper School years should focus upon academic excellence with purpose-driven learning. Assistant Director of College Counseling Cullen Player interviewed Reese Mozer ’09, who attended USC and Carnegie Mellon and is the former president of Ondas Holdings and former CEO and co-founder of American Robotics. Reese spoke to families about his experience in attending a Quaker school and offered his tips. 

“In high school, it is important to be objective about what you want to major in and dedicate your life to – start talking about that seriously,” he said. “Then in college, take advantage of whatever the university has to offer, whether that be labs or student organizations. The faster you can figure this out, the better, because it compounds for the rest of your life,” he offered.

Sharing his beginnings of launching potato cannons with FA’s Chemistry teacher Mr. Alber, Reese explained how it solidified his desire to study science and “build cool things;” especially in joining the student drone team. And he insists, the thread of education, beginning in a Quaker school, does not end at college graduation. “Throughout all these start-up companies, I’ve been able to learn about sales, marketing, development, and government lobbying; I’ve learned the ability to solve problems no matter what they are and have a high degree of confidence in what I know… and what I don’t know.”

Building off of Reese, Mr. Dugger emphasized the importance of students examining their long-term aspirations and weighing that against what a particular college can offer. “What are that college’s academic programs? Faculty retention? Graduation rates? Extracurricular opportunities and alumni network?” he asked. “These are the questions you should ask when you get onto a campus. Does the college encourage hands-on learning and real-world impact? Does it offer a culture that aligns with your personal values,” he added. “Often kids find that they don’t match up.”

At the culmination of a student’s high school career, there should be a triangulation within what Mr. Dugger terms the “Social System,” a connected trio of individual, community, and institution. “Colleges and universities seek students who implement projects, lead organizations, and engage with their communities. Schools want students who explore how their academic interests can connect to broader societal needs.”

To achieve this connection, Mr. Dugger recommended that students think of a project that can identify a need in a community and then steps up to help. “It doesn’t need to be a large need,” he said, emphasizing that Friends Academy is uniquely positioned to help students achieve this because of the flexibility of an independent school; and unlike at a majority of public schools across Long Island where overly bureaucratic systems can hinder similar efforts. “We are different from other schools because we have students from all over Nassau County and Queens; we also have people here, at Friends Academy and in the College Office, who can help create those projects for social impact,” he added.

A final guest of the evening, former parent Zelda Lee, mother to Dustin ’10, Aaron ’12, and Natalia ’16 gave this piece of advice to the audience. “Parents, not every conversation around the dinner table needs to be about college,” she smiled and then gasped as her children surprised her on Zoom at the conclusion of the program. “The system at this school works, but it is a lot of work. At the same time, we have to continue the channel of communication. Children don’t want to tell you they are under stress and in the end, life is not just about the diploma or how much you make – it’s about love, family, and health.”

Photos by Alvin Caal/Friends Academy