'A value that can only be experienced'

In front of a crowded gathering of senior parents, (40 of whom are graduating their last child) Head of School Paul J. Stellato considered the range of sentiments being expressed in the room at that moment.

“For some, it will be the prospect of sending your first child off to college; you will be giddy when they come home and feel the pangs of joy you have not felt for a while. I urge you now to take a moment in the wonder of the children you have raised,” emphasized Mr. Stellato, who also spoke of the lessons he has learned thus far from the Class of 2025. “They have taught me to listen to the entire answer, and not just the words,” he said. “And my guess is that they learned that talent from you.”

Friends Academy Head of School Paul J. Stellato

The annual Senior Parent Luncheon brings together the parents of the class for one of the final times and has become one of many “last” traditions in the senior year. This year, alumnus Brett Hochberg, Class of 2009, who joined Friends Academy in 5th grade, delivered the keynote address. “It will not take long for them to realize the gift of their FA education,” began Brett in describing the soon-to-be graduates. “FA remains an integral part of my personal and professional life,” he said.

Following graduation from Friends in 2009, Brett attended Cornell University’s School of Hotel Administration and soon entered the real estate and corporate development end of the hospitality business in New York City, working first for Tungsten Partners (a since-divested equity owner of Ace Hotels), and later Firmdale Hotels PLC (of New York’s The Crosby Street Hotel, The Whitby Hotel, and The Warren Street Hotel). 

Deciding to combine his hospitality industry experience with a legal education, Brett enrolled and graduated from Washington University’s School of Law, upon which he worked at two practices as a corporate lawyer before pivoting to an in-house role with Hyatt Corporation’s legal department where he handled real estate and merger and acquisition transactions as well as operational and commercial legal support. Brett is now Vice President and Legal Counsel for Raffles Hotels & Resorts, overseeing the global legal function for the luxury hotel brand and its 23 hotels around the world.

“There is one value that has allowed me to excel and flourish,” described Brett. “This isn’t a value that you teach, but one that you experience at FA… and that is community. I didn’t just make friends at FA – I engaged a community of students and faculty.”

For Brett, that community allowed him to take risks and push himself beyond his comfort zone. “In my class of 95, we experienced Friends together. We were all being taught the same values and we all raised our hands to tackle different questions. It was at FA where I spoke up for change on the Student Faculty Board,” he recalled. 

Brett applied both this value and skill of finding community to help him create a bridge in college. “At Cornell, I was of 16,000 undergraduate students and I was having a difficult time adjusting – I was used to being 1 of 95. But, between my first and second semester, I found community. I joined the jazz band, pledged a fraternity, and developed a network of people – I turned 16,000 into 200 people of support,” said Brett.

“FA taught me to be vulnerable, and while they say networking is valuable, this is different from community. Networking is transactional, but community fosters care and well-being,” underscored Brett.

Senior parents in conversation at the annual luncheon.

Co-clerks of the Parents of Alumni Association Donna Gerzof and Lauren Menzin '81, along with Alumni Association President Lauren Russo '09. 

Head of School Paul J. Stellato with Alumni Association President Lauren Russo '09, and classmate, Brett Hochberg '09.

Today, Brett resides in New York City where he continues to foster his passions for history and music that he developed at Friends Academy and, most notably, counts his Friends Academy classmates as his best friends to this day. “I hope like me, your children will continue to reap the benefits of this FA community. I hope they turn to you and say thank you.”

Brett and his mother, Emily.

Photography by Alvin Caal/Friends Academy